Honest background-disclosure is a great way for people to connect and get a feel for who the other is — but there will inevitably be some aspect of everyone’s past which they fear will give others the wrong impression.This is one of the major issues faced by former addicts. It’s a tricky situation — but the essential thing is to never feel forced by shame or remorse into disclosing something. If you are not in control, then you are (once again) essentially being ruled by the addiction.Some do well but, for example, I have 12 patients on my unit right now and 5 of them are "frequent flyers".Even my patients that have every reason in the world to do well fail. Aside from relapse, a majority of my patients have committed crimes in order to continue feeding their addiction. We have them that have completely destroyed their families with their addiction. A "junkie" shouldn't ever be out at a bar or drinking ever again.Men who stop using drugs or alcohol but have not yet addressed their underlying psychological issues and emotional challenges often transfer their chemical addiction into the sexual or romantic arena.Many such men search obsessively, usually online or using smartphone apps, for sexual partners, regardless of whether they are in an existing relationship.
What may have seemed to be a small dose in the past can now be the dose that kills them. Not to mention that using drugs/alcohol can make you make horrible choices. Other men pick up women at AA or NA meetings, masturbate compulsively, visit prostitutes and massage parlors, or spend multiple hours a day looking at online pornography.These addictive relationships are distracting and dysfunctional, and they greatly increase the risk for substance abuse relapse.Should they tell someone new about their past issues? Perhaps the most important aspects of recovery self-disclosure are your motivations for doing so, and the spirit in which the person you’re telling receives it. nor should you blurt it out simply to be ‘ruthlessly honest’ when the information may not even be relevant.There is more to you than your addiction issues, and you should not feel like they are the be-all-an-end-all of your relationships with yourself and others.